Beat it*

I took my final letter to the bishop tonight. I'm somewhat relieved but most of the stress is still there. I'm not sure what I was expecting but whatever it was, I didn't get it. I keep saying I'm ready for all of this to be out of my hands and in the hands of someone else and when it finally is, it's still all I can think about. I can't decide if the stress and the worries will go away when I receive conformation that all is well or that it's something that it will slowly fade and possibly disappear one day.
I can't wait to marry Colby Carter. I think this letter and all that has come with it has been a really good learning experience that has helped us grow a ton but part of me feels so guilty to make him go through these hoops with me. He hasn't done anything to deserve all the negative side affects associated with me being divorced and such but he's being such a good sport. Some day I hope I can make it all up to him and prove that this was all worth it.
It's really sad to imagine that I have no idea what a good marriage is .. my parents didn't have one and neither did I. I'm scared to death to be married again. I know I'm supposed to marry Colby and that the Lord has his hand in all of this. I just wish it was a little easier to get past the bumps in the road sometimes. That's probably enough venting for one night eh?
Dear stress, beat it! I can't take much more of this.